Ah, the first date. It’s like a movie trailer for the romantic comedy that could be your future—only sometimes, it's more horror than rom-com. Let’s talk first date red flags and first date green flags, because nobody wants to end up emotionally invested in someone who thinks "emotional maturity" is a TikTok trend.

 

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🚩 First Date Red Flags: Abort Mission, Captain!

Let’s be real—first dates are exciting, but also prime time for spotting those first date red flags. They’re the little (or giant) warning signs that your potential soulmate might actually be a walking “NOPE” sign.

 

Here’s what to look out for:

 

 

1. They Only Talk About Themselves

If your date treats the conversation like their personal podcast episode titled “Me, Myself, and I,” that’s one of the clearest first date red flags. You’re not a microphone—you’re a person! Relationships are a two-way street, not a TED Talk.

 

 

2. They're Rude to the Waitstaff

If they’re barking at the barista or snapping at the server like they’re auditioning for Kitchen Nightmares, run. How someone treats people they don’t have to be nice to? That’s their real personality. This red flag practically glows in the dark.

 

3. They Trash Their Ex (Or Worse, Still Love Them)

Okay, if your date spends 20 minutes passionately describing how evil their ex is, congratulations: you’re now their therapist. One of the worst first date red flags is realizing you're a rebound, not a romantic interest. And if they still talk about their ex like they’re starring in a Nicholas Sparks novel? Bye.

 

4. Zero Questions for You

If they don’t ask you a single question all night, that’s not just bad manners—it’s one of the classic first date red flags. It shows a lack of curiosity, empathy, and frankly, human decency. You’re not a side character!

 

 

5. They Get Too Intense, Too Fast

Talking about future babies, joint bank accounts, or meeting your parents before dessert? Yikes. This is what we call "love bombing," and it's one of the sneakiest first date red flags. Healthy relationships take time, not turbo mode.

 

6. The Phone Is Glued to Their Hand

You’re trying to tell a story, and they’re Snapchatting their burger? Rude. Being on their phone the whole time screams "I'm not present," and that’s one of the biggest first date red flags. Unless they're a surgeon on call, there's no excuse.

 

7. They're Way Too Negative

If they spend the whole date whining about work, traffic, and the state of the world without a single moment of lightness or humor, that’s a vibe killer. Chronic negativity is one of the more subtle but draining first date red flags.

 

8. They Show Up Drunk or High

No judgment on a drink or two, but if they’re slurring their words or reeking of a frat party, that’s not just a red flag—it’s a full-on crimson banner. It screams lack of respect, self-control, and readiness for a healthy relationship.

 

9. You Feel Weird in Your Gut

Sometimes, you just know. If your intuition is throwing up red flag emojis, don’t ignore it. Your gut is your internal dating compass. And often, one of the biggest first date red flags is simply not feeling safe or respected.

 

Want a few more examples? Check out this great guide from Psychology Today.

 

 

🌿 First Date Green Flags: Proceed With Hope!

Now that we’ve tiptoed through the landmine field, let’s bask in the sunshine. Because there are good ones out there, and they’ll give off those sweet, sweet first date green flags.

 

Here’s what to keep your eye out for:

 

 

1. They Actually Listen

You talk, they listen—like, really listen. Not just nodding while waiting for their turn to speak. Active listening is one of the most underrated first date green flags. It's the foundation of all healthy communication.

 

2. They Ask Thoughtful Questions

When they follow up with, "You mentioned you love hiking—what’s your favourite trail?" you know they’re paying attention. Engaged curiosity is a glowing example of first date green flags.

 

 

3. They're Respectful of Boundaries

Whether it's how you like your personal space or how much you're comfortable sharing, someone who honours that shows maturity. First date green flags don’t come much better than someone who gets consent culture.

 

4. They Have a Sense of Humour (That Isn't Mean-Spirited)

Laughing together is a beautiful thing. If they’re funny without being a jerk, you’re golden. A warm, light-hearted tone is one of those subtle but powerful first date green flags.

 

5. They Show Gratitude

A simple “Thanks for meeting up” or complimenting your choice of venue? Yes, please. Politeness and appreciation are incredibly attractive and totally count as first date green flags.

 

6. They’re Present, Not Distracted

Phone is away, eyes are on you, and they’re not scanning the room like they’re waiting for someone better. Full attention is one of the strongest first date green flags.

 

7. You Share Some Core Values

Maybe you both light up talking about travel, family, or whether pineapple belongs on pizza (it does, fight me). When your interests or values align early, it’s one of those golden first date green flags.

 

8. You Feel Safe and Comfortable

When you can be yourself without walking on eggshells, that’s magic. Comfort and ease are underrated first date green flags that often mean long-term potential.

 

9. They Follow Up With Kindness

The next day, you get a sweet message saying they had a great time. That’s not just good manners—it’s one of the first date green flags that says, “Hey, I’m emotionally available and mildly obsessed with you.”

 

Need help identifying your dating patterns? Here’s a blog from Verywell Mind about the topic.

 

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Final Thoughts: Trust the Vibes

The first date is a preview of what could be a beautiful connection—or a disaster narrowly avoided. Pay attention to the first date red flags, celebrate the first date green flags, and above all, listen to your gut.

 

Because love shouldn’t feel like a job interview or a crime scene. It should feel like home (with maybe a little butterflies-in-your-stomach mixed in).

 

Stay curious, stay smart, and happy dating out there!