First dates are a special and exciting occasion: You meet someone for the first time!

That’s why it’s completely normal and understandable that you feel nervous before your date. But sometimes, anxiety gets the best of us, leading us to mistakes.

However, if you know what the 10 most common mistakes are, you can actively avoid them.

This post will give you the 10 biggest mistakes people make on first dates.

Let’s go!

1. Talking too much about yourself

You start talking about your job, your hobbies, your travels, and before you know it, you've been monologuing for 20 minutes.

That’s exactly what you want to avoid. Instead, you want to balance the conversation, so you both are equally involved. 

All you need to do is to listen actively. Ask open-ended questions and show that you’re genuinely interested. 

2. Bringing up Exes

You casually mention your ex, maybe even compare them to your date, and suddenly the mood shifts.

“Are you over your ex or not?” If you mention her, your date will ask themselves this question.

Keep the conversation focused on the present and the future. Save past relationship talk for later, once you’ve established a stronger connection.

3. Checking your Phone Too Much

Your phone buzzes, and you find yourself checking it over and over during the date.

I know, when your phone buzzes you want to look at it. And it’s completely fine to do this once or twice on a date. If you do it more often, you are giving the impression that you aren’t fully invested in the date.

Just silence your phone and don’t lay it on the table. Keep it out of sight!

4. Being Negative or Complaining

You vent about your job, the traffic, or how much you hate online dating.

Negativity kills the mood. First dates are all about fun, keeping it light, and enjoying. There’s no room for negativity of any kind.

Focus on the positive. Even if you had a tough day, try to keep the conversation upbeat and leave the complaints at home.

5. Drinking Too Much

You have a few too many drinks, and suddenly you’re oversharing or being a little too bold.

Drinking too much can lead to poor judgment and potentially embarrassing behavior. It can make the date uncomfortable or give the wrong impression.

Stick to one or two drinks to keep your mind clear and your behavior in check. 

6. Talking about Heavy Topics Too Soon

You dive into topics like politics, religion, or deeply personal experiences early in the conversation.

Heavy subjects can lead to tension or awkwardness, especially if you’re still getting to know each other. It’s important to create a relaxed environment before tackling sensitive topics.

Stick to light, engaging conversation topics at first. Save deeper discussions for later dates when you’ve built a connection.

7. Forgetting Basic Manners

You forget to say “please” and “thank you,” interrupt your date, or treat the waitstaff poorly.

Manners reflect your character. Being rude, dismissive, or inconsiderate sends the message that you lack respect for others.

Be polite and courteous throughout the date, whether it’s toward your date or those around you.

8. Trying Too Hard to Impress

You talk up your achievements, boast about your travels, or try to make yourself seem more interesting than you are.

Trying too hard can come off as inauthentic or insecure. Your date wants to get to know the real you, not a polished version that feels distant or forced.

Be yourself. Let your personality shine naturally, and don’t feel like you have to prove anything.

9. Under-planning the Date

You show up without any plan at all, leading to awkward silences and uncertainty.

Under-planning can create an uncomfortable situation where neither of you knows what to do next. 

Have a loose plan in mind, like choosing a location that offers flexibility for conversation, but be open to changing things if the mood calls for it.

Conclusion

First dates can be tricky, but they don’t have to be a minefield of mistakes. By avoiding these common first-date missteps you’ll create a more enjoyable and comfortable experience for both you and your date. 

The key is to be yourself, stay present, and keep the conversation light and engaging.

Happy Dating!

More helpful resources:

• What to Wear on a First Date: Do's and Don'ts
• How to End a First Date: 7 Tips to Do it Well (Without the Awkardness)